The Perks of Loving Your Captain
by nerdyasanerd
Summary: Spock reveals his biggest secret to Kirk, right before they have to board the Enterprise and leave on their 5 year mission. Some stuff happens while they're in space too. The entire thing is Spirk, and the POV switches back and forth per chapter.
1. Chapter 1

The time has come for The USS Enterprise to take off into deep space for your upcoming five year adventure, and you feel that there is something you have to say before you and the man you love are stuck together that long. Especially considering you work closely with him constantly. You know you have to come out and tell him, but you don't know how, and more importantly you don't want him to feel differently. You don't want him to not love you back, because he is your soul mate, if such a thing existed. The man you see everyday strolling by in that command gold shirt, the man who's dark black pants are much too form fitting for you to handle. The man who you, at one time disliked because he passed the test when he shouldn't have been able to. The man who understood you; James Tiberius Kirk, your captain and holder of your heart.

You walk to his home early, much too early for anyone but him and yourself to be awake, on the day of scheduled departure, to declare your feelings for your captain. You arrive at his door at precisely the time you anticipated you would, six-thirty, and slowly knock your hand against the wooden door. You feel your heartbeat quicken as your Vulcan hearing picks up him approaching the door, and you try to suppress the feeling, but can't . You had for too long, and now you just couldn't stop yourself. It gets worse when he opens the door in just a towel wrapped around his waist. He had just gotten out of the shower not more then five minutes before you had arrived, judging by the wetness of his glimmering chest. You nonchalantly adjust your stance as you stare into his big, baby blue puppy dog eyes. "Good morning, Captain. Just thought I'd stop by before we have to leave for deep space. I hope I'm not too early, sir." You turn your head down to seem sorry for possibly showing up at a bad time, but really your being sure he can't tell your very pleased to see him.

"No Spock, you're perfectly fine. Please, come in." He motions for you to step inside, and you willingly comply. After shutting the door he walks into the bedroom. "I'll just be a moment, Spock, please, feel free to sit." You once again do as he asks, and you begin to have regrets about coming. You wish you hadn't. You feel like he just sees you as a good friend, but not even his best, because obviously that's Bones. You begin to worry even more then you already were, but before you can do anything rash like leave, Kirk walks back in. He's not wearing his shirt yet, but he puts it on after he starts a pot of coffee. As he walks toward the table you sat at, you cross your legs. You wish you could suppress that damn thing you were born with, but being half human makes it particularly bad since Vulcans could only control lust when it wasn't mating season, which coincidentally it is. Maybe today was a bad day to do this, but you have to now, you are already in your captain's house, and you know you can't just leave without saying something, Kirk would never let you. "So Spock, what's on your mind?"

Damn, he was getting right to it. Now it'd be especially hard to tiptoe into the confession. "Well, Captain, you see-"

"Spock, you're in my house. You don't have to address me formally, heck, I was practically naked in front of you a minute ago! Just call me Kirk." Now that the image of Kirk in that towel, all wet and fresh is back in your head, you will yourself to continue, remembering why you came here.

"Okay, Kirk. You see, since we're going to be in space together for the next five years, I, um, well, I felt it's only logical to inform you that, um I've uh-" He cut you off again, thankfully, because that was pretty painful.

"Look, Spock, just tell me. Don't over think it. You've probably done that enough, considering who you are. No matter what you say, we will always be friends." He smiles at you, but you were stunned. despite that, you manage to keep as straight a face as you can, considering you are in love with the man you are just inches away from, and you can not believe he just blatantly told you he doesn't love you. Unless he's just saying that because he has no clue what you are about to say. Stop it, Spock, you are over thinking this, and your captain just told you not to. Just tell him.

You take a deep breath as you begin spilling your heart out. "Kirk, it has come to my attention that over the few years we've worked so closely together, I have developed feelings that I didn't believe I was capably having." You stare into his big blue eyes again, pausing to see if he's following you.

"Continue." The look on his face indicates he understands where this is going, but he's making you finish.

"James, I think I... I think I'm in lo- I think I'm in love with, um," you trail off, obviously agitating the man infront of you as his voice is now raised an octave.

"Well, Spock, who are you in love with? Is it Uhura, because you two would be a good couple..." What? did he just say that? "Cmon man, don't leave me hanging." He's hoping this isn't about him, he just directed your confession away from himself, and he is staring at you now, making you realize he hadn't been before. Before he had been glancing at the clock, or the coffee, or his hands. His glorious, big strong, calloused hands. You really want to grab them and well, hold them. You don't really know what else you will do with those hands, at least not yet.

"You."


	2. Chapter 2

"Cool." Did you hear Spock right? Did he really just tell you he was in love with you? Holy crap.

"I'm sorry Kirk, but did you just say, 'cool' as your response to me confessing my love to you?" He seems greatly puzzled by this, but you have a plan.

"Yes, Spock. I did just say you being in love with me was cool, because it makes it so much easier on my behave." Oh, wait, that sounds kinda funky.

"What do you mean, sir?"

"I said call me Kirk, and it just makes what I'm about to say a bunch easier." Even if Spock saying it first makes it easier for you, you're still nervous. Until you met Spock Prime a while back and saw what Spock did for you and your crew, you didn't know what the feeling was you had when he was around, mainly because you weren't willing to accept the fact that you would swing that way. Ever since meeting Spock Prime though, you knew. You knew the feeling was love, and not just brotherly love like you felt for Bones, but actual, 'that's not a phaser in my pants, I'm just happy to see you' love. It's quite deeper then that, though, because you often find yourself staring into his deep brown eyes, looking at how neat and clean his hair is, and even admiring the way he holds himself with such pride. You don't just find him physically attractive though, you feel good when he's around. You enjoy his company; You even always thought he enjoyed being with you, and turns out you were right. The half-Vulcan-half-human man sitting across the table from you right now feels the same way about you as you do about him, and that makes you feel amazing. You feel like you did back in high school when you'd smoke with your old buddies and get high as a kite. You feel so good you could just kiss Spock, the man you loved and the man who loved you, but you don't. At least not quite yet, but you think about it.

"Kirk?" Oh geez. You were daydreaming about Spock and forgot to tell him what you mean to.

"Sorry." You try to calm down a little, before you jump across the table and kiss him, as you continue. "You see Spock, it just so happens that a certain captain you like, really really likes you back." You smile and wink at him as his expression changes from confused to elated.

"Really, Kirk?" He looks happy but apparently doesn't believe his big, adorable pointy ears gave him the correct information.

You lean in close to him, and whisper, "Does this answer your question?" As you pull him into a surprise kiss. Well he seems thoroughly surprised, though you knew you would kiss him soon. "So, does it?" You smile at him as you release his blue polyester Star Fleet shirt.

"I believe it does, Kirk." He has the biggest grin on his face you've ever seen from that man, and It makes you widen yours. You glance over to the clock and suddenly realize how much time has passed. So much, in fact that you'll have to take your coffee on the go, but you don't mind. You don't mind at all because now you know that the only, even if he's only half, Vulcan alive is now yours. He's all yours, and you two are going to be stuck in space together for an entire five years. It's already been a wonderful day, and it's just now seven am.

"As much as I'd love for us to stay here and suck face, we do have a shuttle to catch." Spock looks at the time and verbally gasps.

"Yes, Kirk, we best be going so as not to miss it." As you stand he does so in time with you, and leans down ever so slightly to plant a kiss on your cheek. You're grinning goofily again as you're walking out the door. As much as you want to hold his hand or wrap your arms around him, you know you can't yet, because the people of Star Fleet are very judging and the only people who may understand are your crew. But they also might not approve, and then how can you captain them if they don't approve of your personal life? Hold up Kirk, key word here is personal. They better not judge you and Spock for being in love, and if they do it better not interfere with how well they respond to you as their captain. You also have to keep in mind, though, that you can't let this new relationship between you and Spock interfere with you as captain. Remember, this doesn't change your business relationship with this man, just your personal one. You two were no longer good friends, but boyfriends.


	3. Chapter 3

You board the shuttle next to your, um, boyfriend...? Is that the correct term, you think it is. You board the shuttle next to your boyfriend, but you know you can't portray your love for him in public, as much as you want to. You've taken a liking to kissing him though, it makes you feel very very happy. You sit next to him, and on his other side is Bones. Obviously Bones is the most likely to be the first told of the love between you two, but you don't know when you'll both feel ready to tell the crew, because as good friends as Kirk and Bones are, Bones tends to talk, and word spreads fast around a ship in the middle of space. You believe nobody will really care though, as it is your personal lives, and the crew of the Enterprise is much too professional to let that effect them while working. At least it would only make sense that they wouldn't care, what reason would they have to? None, well maybe a few, but certain humans are much too touchy about these things. Like Uhura, she may care. Why had James thought that you and her would be a cute couple if he loved you? Perhaps he was just wanting to see what you would say before he said anything he would regret. But then again, if he hadn't said he liked you back, what would've happened? You immediately dismiss the thought, as it doesn't matter, he's yours now. The captain if The USS Enterprise, the best ship in all of Star Fleet, is your boyfriend. You are in your first relationship and it is with the man of your preverbal dreams. You've never actually dreamed about James, although you think about his perfect face, and adorable, dirty blonde, messy hair a lot. You push the thoughts of James from your head as you feel that thing you can't suppress begin to rise. That damn thing is truly a nuisance, and you wish it would just stop tapping into your feelings and using them to power itself. The shuttle is almost to the ship now, and you can't cross your legs while you walk around.

As you follow Kirk and Bones off of the shuttle, you can't help but glance down at Kirk's beautiful butt. It's just there, in those tight, slimming, black pants, and you can't help but stare. You really must stop though, you almost just crashed into him because you were looking at his butt rather then his feet or Bones, who was first to stop. You straighten your posture as you prepare to walk onto the bridge. Kirk has to step in front of Bones to be the first to board, besides the few like Mr. Sulu and possibly Chekov who would've come early to prep the ship for take off.

As you thought, Sulu and Chekov are already aboard, and Chekov greets everyone with that heavy Russian accent he wears so proudly. "Hello Keptin, Mr. Spock," as he continues everyone walks onto the bridge, and takes their places. You realize now just how far away you have to be from your boyfriend when you man your station, it seems much farther then you remember. That is okay though, Spock. You'll need to be away from him sometimes so as not to seem clingy, but you won't want to be too far away. This is a good safe distance, and an easy reason to leave his side, too. You'll be fine. As the doors to the bridge shut, you think of how long you will be in space with Kirk. Five whole years. That could be too long, or not nearly long enough, you settle on the fact that you'll have to wait and see. You have no way to know if these next five years will be good or bad. None at all. You will just have to be patient and live in the moment. Yes, the moment, like the one happening right now. The ship's beginning to fly out of orbit and your five year adventure is beginning. She's successfully left orbit and as your captain glances back at you then gets up to leave the bridge, you follow, suppressing a smile as you hope you'll get some private time to give him a kiss. It's strange how you've grown so found of that little action. It's just the touching of two people's lips together, or ones lips to a different part of the others body. It gives you a strange sensation, though. A sensation you can't seem to identify, but it seems to buddy with your love for James, so the two must be linked in a way. Maybe soon you'll know what that strange, longing sensation is. Is it longing? Or could it be just more love? Again this must be something you'll have to wait on.

You don't have to wait longer then the time it takes to walk to the captain's quarters to kiss Kirk, though. That strange sensation has come back, and it gets worse as you two sit on his bed and experiment with kissing. It may be an 'experiment' as you've no clue what you're doing, but you can tell the kisses are extremely passionate. Kirk is the more experienced one, so you try to learn from what he does. These things he's doing seem so strange, though. Like this thing he says is called 'French Kissing'. It's quite peculiar, the feeling you get as your tongues dance between your interlocked lips in a slur of passion. It seems to be just a stronger, more intensified feeling from the gentle kiss you laid upon his cheek earlier, but you still can't seem to place it. Despite what your body is telling you to do, your mind has questions and you won't be fully able to enjoy this kissy-time, as Kirk calls it, until you have some answers. You break away, and stare with, passion, eh lust, no, um love? You stare into his adorable, amazing, beautifully blue eyes, and begin to talk. "James, can we talk about us for a moment?"

"Sure, baby, what's up?" Did he just cal you baby? Why would he call you that, you were a grown man, and you weren't wining, so why would he call you baby?

"Let's start with why you just called me baby? I don't understand does it bother you that I wanted to ask some questions, why are you calling me names?" You're agitated, clearly, but James seems, happy? Maybe he just looks crazy.

"Wow, Spock." He's laughing now, what is going on? "So, when two people, like us, are in a relationship, like the way we are, they tend to call each other little nicknames like baby, or sweetie pie, or the way that you're calling me James now. I'm not making fun of you, hon, it's just a playful little thing couples do."

"Um, so we are indeed, in a relationship?" You just want to get off that topic, it seems completely unnecessary for you to understand.

"Yeah."

"And the proper term for you now is my boyfriend?" Your captain seems amused that you have all these little questions to ask him.

"Yup. Anything else?" Um yes, of course there's other things to ask him. Like why all the different kissing styles? But that question can wait another day. This one only can if it must.

"How long are we going to keep this a secret from the crew?" James looks absolutely stunned. "James? Was that not an okay question?" Relax, Spock, how bad of a question could it be? It can't be too bad, he seems about ready to answer you.

"Honestly, Spock, whenever you're ready. I'm fine with this, I absolutely adore you and I couldn't care less about what people say, and they'll find out eventually somehow. So really, mister, it's up to you." He's practically tearing your soul apart with those puppy dog eyes, and you pull him into a kiss. Not a 'French Kiss', just a regular, good old fashion lip to lip kiss.

"I'm ready. Should we go now?" After that kiss you almost don't want to, you almost want to stay here and kiss James some more, but then again you want to he able to do that anywhere on the ship.

"Alright, boyfriend of mine, lets go."


	4. Chapter 4

You're practically dragging Spock through the halls to the bridge. You know that the majority of people who you see constantly will be there so its the best place to do this. He quickens his pace and catches up to you.

"What're we doing James?" You stop right out side of a door to the bridge. He absolutely seems lost.

"Proclaiming our love to the entire ship." You hit the button and walk in, dragging him again, but rather loudly this time, to draw attention to yourselves. You slam a few buttons in front of Sulu and broadcast a stream of this to the entire ship. You drag your boyfriend over to your captains's chair, and motion to it. "Spock, sit."

"What? But James that's your chair. And I'm not a dog." If you two didn't already have all everyones eyes on you, you did when he called you by your first name instead of 'Captain' as he used to.

"Sit." You say more forcefully this time, hoping he'll just sit in the goddamn chair. He complies, and you sit on his lap. As quickly as he tenses up at this he relaxes, and you pull his face in for a huge kiss. A kiss like none you two have shared in your, what, three hours of being a couple? The bridge goes dead silent except for the sound of the two of you making out. Before the kiss is over you can hear Bones screaming as he runs onto the bridge.

"Dammit Jim, what the hell?" Not his usual turn of phrase, but it sounds pretty appropriate. You take your time to finish the kiss, right in front of your best friend and the entire rest of the crew, before pivoting on Spock's lap to face the screen.

"This is your Captain speaking. If you weren't already paying attention, you need to be now. I have some very important news to announce." You pause to wait for anyone, most likely in engineering, who wasn't paying attention to begin with, but that's a huge mistake.

"Why the hell don't you tell your best friend this HUGE news first, huh Jim?"

"Calm down Bones, you'll hear just as soon as everyone."

"Spock got to know first." There's a collective 'ooooh' from Chekov and, well just Chekov, it seems. You've got just the right come back to that one, though.

"A little jealous, are we 'bestie'?" You look at Bones with a grin on your face nothing can wipe off, then laugh and whip your head back around and plant a big slobbery kiss on Spock's cheek, making him tense up again. He soon relaxes and you direct your attention back to the screen. "Like I was saying, listen up. Myself, Captain Kirk am in love with and in a relationship with Commander Spock. Kirk out." You motion to Sulu to shut the transmission. You get up off of Spock and help him stand, just so you can hold his hand in front of Bones some more.

"Jim can we speak in private?" Oh this guys too funny today. What's he so mad about, anyway? It's your personal life, you don't care if he thinks he knows you better then you do, he doesn't. You'll have time to yell at him later, though. Right now you turn your head and gaze into Spock's eyes, silently asking if you can go, before vocalizing what Spock must've been thinking about.

"I don't think Bones'll try and make a move, baby. I'll be back in a few minutes." Spock nods and you smile as you kiss him passionately again, in front of Bones, this time causing him to verbally gag. How the heck is this guy even a doctor? You digress and lead Bones to your quarters to talk. The trip there is silent.

As you shut the door Bones explodes. "What the hell Jim? This is awful sudden, don't you think?"

"Yeah. So? I like him, big freaking whoop." You say this a little too nonchalantly and it sends Bones off the handle.

"YOU CAN'T JUST RANDOMLY START BEING GAY I MEAN WHAT THE HELL JIM I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND WHY AM I JUST NOW LEARNING ABOUT THIS TODAY HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN DATING WHAT THE HELL JIM?" You haven't seen Bones this angry in a long while, better tread lightly.

"I've kinda liked him ever since I got lost in that wasteland a while back... And we've been dating, um," you glance at the clock on the wall, "I'd say a little over three hours now." Bones' jaw just drops. He stares at you in disbelief as you just kinda shrug. You don't see what the big deal here is, and screw the rest of your crew, you're the captain you can do whatever you want.

"Wow, okay then. I have nothing else to say. It's your personal life, just don't mess up too bad or it's gonna be a long five years for the lot of us..." Bones walks away as he trails off, seemingly worrying about what'll happen if the two of you break up or get into a huge fight. Obviously that would suck, but it won't effect anyone else because everyone else at the moment is strictly in a business relationship with the two of you. You can't help but wonder how much hell life would be if that ever does happen. You can just imagine Spock sneaking up on you randomly in the halls and doing that Vulcan thing he does, and just leaving you there. In the middle of the hall, at least once a day until you make up. That adorable, depressing, kind of worrying thought aside, you walk out of your room to find Spock just outside the doorway. He backs you up into the room and tries to shut the door with his foot but has some troubles and has to turn to do so with his hand. You giggle like a school girl. Wait? What? Did you really just, no, could you have? You don't have time to think about this as suddenly Spock turns back around and kisses you with so much passion and lust you just stop all train of thought and kiss him back. Then you do something you've always wanted to do. You ruffle that damn perfect hair of his. He doesn't skip a beat. You do, however through him off balance and the two of you fall to the floor.

"My bad."


	5. Chapter 5

You wonder what it is that James is apologizing for. Oh wait, you're on the ground. You laugh as you reassuringly say, "Don't worry, we either would've ended up here or on the bed!" You then bring James closer for another extremely passionate kiss. It's lustful, too. You have deduced that lust is in fact the correct term for the feeling you've been feeling lately. Right now, at oh ten in the morning is it? Well close enough to it. Right now, sometime between nine and ten in the morning, you're planning on satisfying that lust. You want that damn feeling to be gone at least for a short while so you won't go crazy every time you and James aren't kissing. You grip so tightly onto his mustard yellow shirt you think you might just rip it. But you don't. You just almost rip James' head off as you pull the long sleeved shirt over his head, inching as close as possible to his perfect chest. He pushes you back, though, and seemingly consumed by lust as well, assists you in removing your blue shirt. Well, he rips it over your head, but still helpful. This is all so surreal, it's all happening so fast. What are you even doing? You've no clue. Does he know what's supposed to be going on? You sure hope so as you embrace him for another kiss, all the while unzipping his pants. He stops you, though.

"Spock, what the hell are we doing?"

"I hoped you knew." You really do, you were kind of enjoying the view of his chest, though. You must admit it got awfully strange when you instinctively began to take off James' pants.

He sighs. "I know what we were about to do, Spock, but what were we thinking? Neither of us, at least I assume you haven't, because I sure haven't, have ever done this before, and to top it off we just begun dating like four hours ago! Although I have to admit it was loads of fun announcing to the crew our love, I think both of us would, um, enjoy this more if we didn't do this now." Well what were you about to do? You had no idea, I mean, it's mating season half of you is berserk right now, and all those terrible natural instincts are flooding in.

"I completely trust you in this, James, but what were we about to do?"

"I can't explain that to you, Spock, especially when we're both in the floor half naked together. Thank god nobody walked in-" The two if you, you still atop Kirk, turned towards the door as it creaked open to reveal a short, curly haired young boy.

"Keptin there is- I'm sorry Keptin, I'll leave." You think that Chekov understands this better then you do, as his face immediately turns red and you hear him run away towards the bridge.

"Get off, Spock, I have to go stop him from saying anything, and hopefully we didn't scar him for life." What? You're completely and utterly lost now, and you just lazily roll off of James onto the floor.

"Alright then James." He jumps up, slides his shirt on- there goes the view- and zips and buttons his pants as he blots out the door.

"Put on your shirt and enter the bridge from a different door." Thankfully you can hear him because if your Vulcan hearing, since he's already halfway to the bridge by the time he's finished. You slowly stand and do as he told you to. You pick up your shirt off the floor and shake off all of the dust on it. You turn it right side out and slip it over your head, still contemplating what exactly was about to happen. You assume, mating... Or something close to it, anyway since your natural instincts took over, much too forcefully. You waltz out of the room and head off the opposite direct to loop in a large circle and come in on the other side of the bridge.

You step in the doorway of the bridge to find James sitting in his chair, Chekov at his post, but thoroughly alarmed to see you come in, and Sulu just kind of there. You walk over to James, and squat by his side. "So?" You don't really know what to ask, and generic questions usually have the best chance to give you the answer you want.

"He's fine, the kid's a trooper." That works for you, seems like a fine answer to 'So?'.

"That's good. It's what would be Vulcan mating season, so I believe that's what just about went down in there, yes?"

"Yes."

"I thoroughly apologize, James, it was my damn instincts. Sometimes this whole 'half Vulcan half human' thing gets really hard to deal with." You look at him and he just smiles back.

"It's fine, Spock. I'm just glad for poor Chekov's sake that we ended up stopping where we did, otherwise he'd be a lot worse off then he is." James is lagging quietly at this joke, and you feel it appropriate to bestow a small kiss upon his cheek before standing to leave. You also manage to whisper in his ear.

"I'll be in my room if you want to talk.


End file.
